Wednesday, November 29, 2006

A Confession


Today, while checking out at Walmart, I was reading about TomKat's wedding. Baby Suri sure is pretty and Katie Holmes...ur...Katie Cruise looked super. I was scanning the mags thinking about how much those photos cost the publisher and if they really make money printing these things.

I bought one. And it was 10% off the cover price. Walmart.

On my way to work, I thought: I'm just gonna look at the pictures. I switched on Day to Day and heard the latest on Iraq, President Bush's upcoming then canceled meeting with Al-Maliki - you know, things that matter. But my thoughts crept back to Baby Suri and her Armani bloomers.

When I got to work. I tried... to work. The shiny Life and Style, is that the title? I just bought it in a rush of embarrassment... the shiny (and I am attracted to shiny objects... like jewelry) called out to me! "Look at me now and you will be more productive later!"

OK.

OK is also the title of another gossip mag.

Where was I? Yes. Baby Suri, Armani, Katie Holmes Cruise... then I kept turning the page. Paris Hilton fixing a wedgie in public, Did Ashley Simpson get a nose job - proof here! How will Reese and Ryan spare the children during divorce...

I had to confess because I started to feel... dirty and useless. Especially as Talk of the Nation and The World aired in the background. oops. Yeah... I took that much time looking at the magazine. My voyeurism lasted through Neal Conan and Lisa Mullins... Don't tell Roger.

I sought Robin Rilette. She is my spiritual buddy and would ease my mind.

"Robin... I did something I never did before. I bought a trashy gossip magazine. You know... life and style or something. Not a good one that actually has stories about real people and stuff... like People... but a bad one. I feel dirty."

Robin: .... "You did?" (Robin laughing hysterically!)
Sueann:(defensively) "I got a discount!"
Robin:..."OK"
Sueann: "No. Life and Style or something."
Robin: "What?"
Sueann: "Nevermind."

I felt better. Cleansed.

Then later that night, when Reed Michaelsen came to work I told him about this blog entry. He made me feel even better because he reads OK! while eating breakfast! He told me all about Oprah being upset at TomKat for not using her home for the wedding. He told me that Lindsey Lohan was reportedly cutting herself...poor thing and that Britney is still wearing her wedding ring! Reed said he doesn't subscribe to the mag - he gets it from his grandma. I believe him.

Then while eating dinner...CNN turned into a Hollywood Minute. I had this strange moment where All Things Considered was playing on the radio and the anchor on CNN Hollywood was having a very serious discussion with an analysist about K-Fed sleeping with an exotic dancer; who is she, what this means for his career, Britney's career, Muslim American women who wear headscarfs...WAIT. That last part was from the real news. Back to reality.

4 comments:

Sueann Ramella said...

For those who may take my entry about reading on the job too seriously, I did make up the hours that I wasted reading OK..or Life and Style. I made it up by reading Washington State City and Town Names: A Pronunciation Guide! :)

lonester said...

This is off topic, but was it you I just heard comment after the piece on Crunk's music?! I loved it. Thank you
uh, uh, unhh, unhh, uh, .....geez

from a poor musician who never "made it"

Sueann Ramella said...

Yup. That was me. I just keep hearing these songs and wonder why I'm not writing them and making millions? Have you heard one called "I'm In Love With A Stripper?" simple, good beats, awful lyrics. Someone's rich.

Thanks for listening! :)

Sueann Ramella said...

Sueann,

Now I know why I'm your spiritual buddy. My comments are profound and insightful. It also explains why you have so many issues. Just kidding! You know I love you.

Robin