Winning the Lottery

I found this interesting: Lottery Winner Sad Stories

Most of the winners who lost their millions had little experience with money. Most of them went crazy and spent it all and gave it all away, like MC Hammer: Famous in Debt so I have done research for us future lottery winners. Here are the steps we will take when we ...I...win the lottery!

1. CALM DOWN - Breath deeply...deeply enough to make yourself pass out. Do this while sitting in the middle of the bed. If you found out you won at the grocery store, run to your car and deeply breath in the passenger side seat. This way, when you faint, your head won't press the horn, drawing attention to you. After breathing/fainting. Compose yourself and stay calm. Go home.

2. TELL NO ONE - Call into to work and say you need a mental health day or feign sickness. Tell your spouse if you have one - don't tell your kids yet. Remember that Quaker Granola Bar commercial? Kids have big mouths, stuff it with a granola bar! Continue to tell no one until you track down...

3. HIRE A FINANCIAL PLANNER AND OR AN ATTORNEY - tell them you won. Then listen to them on how to plan out your future. They will likely hide the money from you in investments and CDs and stuff... keeping it safe and working for you for years to come. They'll help you determine what public radio station you want to support forever. PLEDGE NOW! Continue to tell no one else you won.

4. PICK UP YOUR WINNINGS ANONYMOUSLY - DO NOT take a public photo of yourself with that large, lying check! Keep in mind that the number on the check is half of what you'll get...TAXES man! Continue to do step 1. and 2.

***Follow these 4 steps and you have a greater chance of not losing all your winnings in 3 years and ending up 1 million in debt.

What would I do when I win the lottery? I would follow these steps. Then I would pay off my house, debt...figure out a way to anonymously help my family...start a bubble tea cafe, buy these shoes They're FABULOUS! I would buy all the things in my Amazon favorites folder; all Star Trek the Next Generation DVDs, English period dramas. Then adopt 2 Shih Tzus!