A Confession

Today, while checking out at Walmart, I was reading about TomKat's wedding. Baby Suri sure is pretty and Katie Holmes...ur...Katie Cruise looked super. I was scanning the mags thinking about how much those photos cost the publisher and if they really make money printing these things.

I bought one. And it was 10% off the cover price. Walmart.

On my way to work, I thought: I'm just gonna look at the pictures. I switched on Day to Day and heard the latest on Iraq, President Bush's upcoming then canceled meeting with Al-Maliki - you know, things that matter. But my thoughts crept back to Baby Suri and her Armani bloomers.

When I got to work. I tried... to work. The shiny Life and Style, is that the title? I just bought it in a rush of embarrassment... the shiny (and I am attracted to shiny objects... like jewelry) called out to me! "Look at me now and you will be more productive later!"

OK.

OK is also the title of another gossip mag.

Where was I? Yes. Baby Suri, Armani, Katie Holmes Cruise... then I kept turning the page. Paris Hilton fixing a wedgie in public, Did Ashley Simpson get a nose job - proof here! How will Reese and Ryan spare the children during divorce...

I had to confess because I started to feel... dirty and useless. Especially as Talk of the Nation and The World aired in the background. oops. Yeah... I took that much time looking at the magazine. My voyeurism lasted through Neal Conan and Lisa Mullins... Don't tell Roger.

I sought Robin Rilette. She is my spiritual buddy and would ease my mind.

"Robin... I did something I never did before. I bought a trashy gossip magazine. You know... life and style or something. Not a good one that actually has stories about real people and stuff... like People... but a bad one. I feel dirty."

Robin: .... "You did?" (Robin laughing hysterically!)
Sueann:(defensively) "I got a discount!"
Robin:..."OK"
Sueann: "No. Life and Style or something."
Robin: "What?"
Sueann: "Nevermind."

I felt better. Cleansed.

Then later that night, when Reed Michaelsen came to work I told him about this blog entry. He made me feel even better because he reads OK! while eating breakfast! He told me all about Oprah being upset at TomKat for not using her home for the wedding. He told me that Lindsey Lohan was reportedly cutting herself...poor thing and that Britney is still wearing her wedding ring! Reed said he doesn't subscribe to the mag - he gets it from his grandma. I believe him.

Then while eating dinner...CNN turned into a Hollywood Minute. I had this strange moment where All Things Considered was playing on the radio and the anchor on CNN Hollywood was having a very serious discussion with an analysist about K-Fed sleeping with an exotic dancer; who is she, what this means for his career, Britney's career, Muslim American women who wear headscarfs...WAIT. That last part was from the real news. Back to reality.

I'm Sorry

On Tuesday night's ATC (All Things Considered) commentator, John McWhorter, responded to comedian Michael Richard's racial rant. Lisen/read it here I wanted to learn more so I went to CNN to check it out. CNN It was pretty offensive. At first, he's just really angry. Then he goes over the edge and makes references to lynching and pitch forks.

McWhorter wanted to know what was the point of Micheal's apology on David Letterman? The commentator sounded tired of people apologizing for racism because, he felt, it doesn't mean they will change their thoughts. What I took from this: don't say you're sorry if you won't change. But I had a problem with it.

How can we start to change if we do not apologize? If I say I am sorry, that is a start. I will check myself in the future when I have those thoughts. I will for sure not verbalize what is wrong.

Then I started thinking about the power of apology...About the word sorry. It's a good word. Saying you're sorry begins healing. Saying you're sorry opens closed doors of communication. Saying you're sorry is humbling. To me, even if the person is not really sorry...They have been humbled. Think of your kids and forcing them to say sorry. What are we teaching them...They say it and don't mean it...Then we say, "Say it like you mean it." OK...We could be teaching really good actors. But I think you get my point.

So "Kramer" said he was sorry... ON NATIONAL TV!!! And I felt it was genuine.

Even if he doesn't think what he did was wrong, he has been humbled nationally. And you could say, he has brought discussions of racism out.

Window into my marriage: Saying you're sorry was a hard thing for my husband to say. He approached it much like the commentator. If you don't mean it, and don't feel it, don't say it. Stubborn. Proud. It hurt me a lot early in our relationship.

Silly, but a good example; dishes.

I asked him to do the dishes. He didn't. He was busy. No apology. He was doing really important stuff and ran out of time. OK...But I had to express to him that saying you're sorry isn't always personal. Sometimes, a lot of the time, it is for the other person. It acknowledges their feelings. Perhaps it comes from being a woman, but saying sorry is second nature. I have to work on not saying it all the time for silly things. Sorry the lasagna is dry. Could I have that paperwork today? It's due. Sorry. (WHY DO I DO THAT??) Eventually, my husband realized how important this was to me. And how happy his wife would be if he just said it! No one likes angry Sueann.

Another time I will tell you the story of the dogs on the highway, Pasco Firefighters and raging in Korean. Moral of the story: good intentions do not equal good outcomes.

My Office...not the Tavern

Here in Pullman, when you say, "Let's meet at my office." We responds, "The bar?" Yes. We have a bar in town called My Office. They have good Nachos. Here is my office. I was sorting through my hard drive and came across some pictures for the blog that I forgot to post.

Above, my black pleather couch that unfolds into a "futon." Very handy during pledge drives for naps! I get many visitors who sit on this soft pleather and chat to me. They talk despite this sign:

Below is the rest of my office. Some anime posters, a calendar and public tv/radio stuff. The other half of the office is currently being used to store displays. When we clear that out I plan to make a zen corner there... or a wet bar.

And this is my office neighbor, Gillian. We usually get to see each other for about 1 hour a day. :( More if I plan a party at noon and she has to stay!

Corean Christmas

I am going to Korea for the Holidays! While I am there I am going to visit a Korean orphanage and the first annimal shelter in South Korea. I am also going to brave the meat market where they sell dog for consumption. I plan to record my adventures there and bring them back for you. While I am away I will also blog my vacation. So look for that coming December 14th - 30th. If you have been to Korea before and have some suggestions for travelling or what I should see leave a comment or email me:
sramella@wsu.edu

Don't Look At My Ballot!

My husband looked at my ballot. It irritated me. This is a very private thing. In his defense he said, "We're married. It's ok." To which I replied, "Yes we are and no it's not."
The conversation could have ended there but he said, "You're not voting for ____? and look, you didn't vote for county auditor!"
I told him I didn't read up on the auditors so I am being responsible by not voting. And hey! It's my right to vote or not! and ... and... why am I justifying this to you?
His reply, "ok."
Good man. I was getting upset. Passionate you might say. I really don't like it making decisions without research or thinking things through.
Maybe some will say I am not a responsible voter - because I didn't do more research on candidates. Maybe I should have just selected a county auditor? Are they right?
To me, it seems responsible not to vote on things you don't understand or know about.

I once knew a man who never wanted children. He said the males in his family had mental issues and he didn't want to pass that on. I told him that he was the most responsible parent I ever met.

Winning the Lottery

I found this interesting: Lottery Winner Sad Stories

Most of the winners who lost their millions had little experience with money. Most of them went crazy and spent it all and gave it all away, like MC Hammer: Famous in Debt so I have done research for us future lottery winners. Here are the steps we will take when we ...I...win the lottery!

1. CALM DOWN - Breath deeply...deeply enough to make yourself pass out. Do this while sitting in the middle of the bed. If you found out you won at the grocery store, run to your car and deeply breath in the passenger side seat. This way, when you faint, your head won't press the horn, drawing attention to you. After breathing/fainting. Compose yourself and stay calm. Go home.

2. TELL NO ONE - Call into to work and say you need a mental health day or feign sickness. Tell your spouse if you have one - don't tell your kids yet. Remember that Quaker Granola Bar commercial? Kids have big mouths, stuff it with a granola bar! Continue to tell no one until you track down...

3. HIRE A FINANCIAL PLANNER AND OR AN ATTORNEY - tell them you won. Then listen to them on how to plan out your future. They will likely hide the money from you in investments and CDs and stuff... keeping it safe and working for you for years to come. They'll help you determine what public radio station you want to support forever. PLEDGE NOW! Continue to tell no one else you won.

4. PICK UP YOUR WINNINGS ANONYMOUSLY - DO NOT take a public photo of yourself with that large, lying check! Keep in mind that the number on the check is half of what you'll get...TAXES man! Continue to do step 1. and 2.

***Follow these 4 steps and you have a greater chance of not losing all your winnings in 3 years and ending up 1 million in debt.

What would I do when I win the lottery? I would follow these steps. Then I would pay off my house, debt...figure out a way to anonymously help my family...start a bubble tea cafe, buy these shoes They're FABULOUS! I would buy all the things in my Amazon favorites folder; all Star Trek the Next Generation DVDs, English period dramas. Then adopt 2 Shih Tzus!